Well, it’s official! AJ had his “procedure” on Friday, so we are done having babies. While some of you might consider this TMI, you’d be amazed at how many people ask us “are you having more?” or “when’s number three coming along?” as if there’s no way it could be a personal or sensitive subject.
It may be just my surrounding culture (read: fairly conservative southwestern suburbia), but I find that people look at me oddly when I say we’re perfectly content with our two children. One friend told me, “Aw, come on, your kids are so cute! You should have at least one more.” Right… because cuteness is a legit reason for having a child. (I’m being sarcastic here, btw.) :-)
So I thought I’d share with you our reasons for being content with our two children. [Disclaimer: This is not an invitation for arguing or disagreement. If you disagree with me, let’s just agree to disagree, yes?] So here goes:
7 Reasons We’re Content with “Only” Two Children:
1. We have two children! Many people can’t have children. I have seen two couples very close to us struggle with infertility, and my heart breaks when I think of the emotional and physical pain they have gone through. We have two children! That fact alone is a very big deal that I think some people overlook, especially those who are able to get pregnant very easily.
2. Neither my husband nor I feel that God is calling us to have more children. This is not something I say flippantly. Nor is this a decision we made flippantly. We truly believe that God is 100% okay with our decision. [For a great article that further expresses this, please read: http://www.desiringgod.org/resource-library/articles/does-the-bible-permit-birth-control. Again, let’s agree to disagree.]
3. I did not like being pregnant. (Understatement.) I have “moderate/severe” scoliosis of the spine, which, combined with carrying my jumbo babies completely out front, led to a VERY painful pregnancy. I had regular, frequent contractions with both babies starting at 24 weeks. I was one of the 4% of all women who had 3rd degree perineal tearing, with both deliveries. And, least of all, my stomach is, no joke, COVERED with stretch marks all the way up to my rib cage. So, call me an ungrateful wuss, but I really don’t want to go through it again. :-)
4. We have a girl and a boy! I honestly think that God gave us a boy so we wouldn’t be tempted to try for a third. :-) (And, side-note: this was one of the questions the nurse asked AJ while prepping him for his “procedure” – “Do you have one of each? Because usually people want to try for both…” I mean, really!)
5. I am still struggling with depression. Again, this is not something I say flippantly. It is a very real presence in my life and, therefore, my children’s lives. It takes ALL of my strength and energy (and I rely heavily on God’s strength and energy!) to care for my children in way that won’t harm them emotionally, along with equipping myself with the tools I need to fight my own battles.
6. We would gladly consider adoption, should God place that calling in our hearts. We have a niece and nephew from Ethiopia and are so blessed by them. Watching my in-laws go through the process of adoption has definitely softened our hearts to the orphans of the world.
7. When I look at my children, I feel at peace! I am so happy with our little family. We are a tightly-knit team, and I truly am content. And I know that if God decides we should have more children, He’ll make it happen one way or another!
So, now you know! And if you think I’m crazy or selfish or un-“Christian”, well, that’s nice. But I know my God, and He knows me, and I rest my confidence in that! OK, well, I’m off to help Tori look for grasshoppers and make sure Anders doesn’t eat [too much] dirt. Have a great week! :-)